Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
