Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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