We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
