I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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