I feel great
I just peed on a car
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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