im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
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