OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize