i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
