I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
