I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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