guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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