hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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