Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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