we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
