your room smells of hookers.
And success
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
