You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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