i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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