Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
