k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
