3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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