haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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