I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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