im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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