Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I need water and some morals
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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