Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
