I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
