we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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