I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
