dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
