I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
