i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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