YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize