She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He? As in you personified your dick?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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