i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
