oh god the rape fog is back!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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