nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
