you would pick up someone in the library
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
