saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
