hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
