like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize