Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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