I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
