this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
