You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
