My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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