At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize