my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
