I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Randomize
