Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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