can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
