so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize
