i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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