Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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