you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
