They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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