question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
