I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize