I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
