Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We got so high we made milksteak
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My ass is underappreciated
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
