Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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