I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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