this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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