he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
