I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
