I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
