Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
