They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize