I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
