Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
